Jan 20 2018 The Oxytocin Addiction Happens to Escorts Too and Excited About a Change of Venue Albany January 21-27Category: General     08:06AM   0

Hello Darlings,

We're having a heat wave.  It's 48 this morning with a high of 68 predicted.  Cloudy all day though.  The nude sun worshippers from Minnesota will still be at the pool.  

It's been a really tough week for me.  And to my shame I dumped it all on a client friend last evening.  I never should have done that.   Totally unprofessional and I've apologized.  But I've been so out of sorts that I actually lost my appetite.  Now let me tell you, that never happens except for one other time in my life, when an old flame and I broke up.  I couldn't eat and I cried for days.  Yeah, me...Ms. Compartmentalize like a guy to protect my heart in this business. Some of you I'd like to keep when you visit but I cannot.  I think all providers have to learn to do that or we'd be an emotional wreck.  

I haven't allowed myself to step out into the realm of personal relationships since 2009 when I last had my heart broken.  Yeah, he was married so I knew it was gonna happen and I did it anyway.  I've never been sorry I experienced those highs of love but I have steeled myself since and protected my heart. 

I've mentioned here recently that I'd stepped out again.  Thankfully I was not falling in love but I was in lust.  That word....lust.  And he was disappearing, telling me he was caring too much and getting too attached to me.  His remedy, date a married woman and avoid me.  No doubt I was hurt but I couldn't get past the hurt.  It kept rolling around in my brain in a loop and I told myself, "stop this."  But I seemed powerless to do so.

Until I called some very wise married friends this morning.  They know us both.  She put him on speaker and I explained the situation and my state.  She made some affirming comments about how I was handling it and he came on.  He said, "You said you are in lust.  You've gotten a shot of oxytocin and it's one of the most powerful drugs on the planet."  The lightbulb went on and I listened.  Of course,  I can see this for others but I couldn't recognize it for myself.  As he continued,  affirming me and my awareness of self he explained that in that state I was basically mentally incompacitated. Unable to solve the dilemma.  No shit!  I can't tell you how many times I've uttered these same words to others.  Adviser...heal thyself.  

We spoke more of the whole situation and life but I came away with clarity.  And relief.  THIS I can handle and my friendship with my lover can be viewed in the proper perspective.  I am capable to do so now.  I changed my attitude and that is a powerful antidote to addiction. 

I read Alexx's post this morning and the first little gem he posted was this....Sometimes the most important people that come into your life, that teach you the most valuable lessons aren't suppose to be in your life forever. Sometimes they're only supposed to be there long enough to teach the lesson and then move on. But they will always be the people that you never forget no matter how many years may pass. 

My lesson.  That I do want someone or others  in my  personal life.  It just might not be him.  As my counselor of years ago said,  "Next!"  I am not deterred. 

What I also learned is that I was grieving for all skewed relationships.   I've had a serious falling out with my sister.   She went after my daughter with such a meanness it took my breath away.  But it's not the first time.  I'm a Leo....we protect our cubs.  My children come first but I also love my sister.  It's sad but it's time for me to shed the negative and only be around people who are uplifting and positive.  She is not one of them.  I haven't closed the door, she has, but I'm backing away to protect myself. 

I am SO looking forward to getting away now and heading to see my old and new friends in Albany.  I've even got my dining list put together.  I promise...I won't be crying on your shoulder.  I'll be kissing and licking it instead.  Maybe a bite or too. 

Remember, any wardrobe requests need to be to me BEFORE I get on the plane tomorrow morning!  I AM bringing leather and toys of course. 

Life is still good!  

Your VERY Naughty Girlfriend, GILF and Goddess,

Anneke

Two mornings ago at 27 degrees. My pointsetta died.

No extensions.

Last night, waiting for an adventure.  It was great!

 


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